Guess Who's Back, Back Again? Part One

It has been a long time since I've posted here. There has been an incredible whirlwind rush of crazy going on in our lives since I last posted. I think it started out with a definite feeling of being overwhelmed from taking on too much too soon with this blog and the accompanying Facebook page. Then my son began teething at about four months old and continued with horribly fussy teething until about eight months old (he is now 11 months old). Then I started my own photography company. Shortly after that, Nate's parents informed us that they would be buying us a house. Much celebration commenced as, at the time, we were living in a 546 square foot, one bedroom, rental house- two kids, two adults, five cats, and a dog squeezed into such a tiny space. And since the bedroom was filled with the clothing of four people, we couldn't spend much time in there, other than to sleep, and even that was cramped. My daughter slept on a pullout couch in the living room and all of the kids "stuff" (swing, bouncer, jumperoo, toys, toys, more toys, etc...) was located in the living room too. The kitchen was just big enough to barely cook in. So we spent all of our time in one miniscule corner of the living room, falling over each other. So we started looking for houses in good neighborhoods (the in-laws aren't a fan of Saint Paul proper apparently), with good schools nearby (almost impossible in this metro), and within the financial limits set for us. Nate's parents found an amazing three plus bedroom, three bathroom, 2000 square foot home in the quiet, yet conveniently located suburb of North Saint Paul. And then we had to wait for the closing. And then we had to wait for all the necessary work to be done on the house. And then we had to wait for the rooms to be painted and small cosmetic issues to be fixed. And then one day it got really, REALLY hot inside our tiny rental house and I demanded that we move in to the new house immediately or I was going to suffer some sort of nervous breakdown. Then we had to physically move all of our stuff into the new house and organize our most needed possessions. Anyone who has ever moved a multi-person household knows how much of a pain this can be. Also, about a month before we moved, someone poisoned our dog. Twice. The first time we caught it and got him treated. The second time, he died a horrible death. Whoever did this threw bakers chocolate laced with rat poison into our backyard. The police didn't seem too concerned, which was strange to me as any child in our neighborhood could have wandered into our backyard and consumed the chocolate. There are so many children on that block and there have been quite a few times where I had gone into the backyard to find one or more of the neighborhood children digging in the dirt alone and unsupervised. I don't have a problem with that, but when there is poisoned candy being thrown into said backyard I do have a problem. Shortly after we moved in to our new home, my friend Mary came to stay with us for a week, went home for a week and a half and then came back for another week and a half. Add in family get-togethers (the Fourth of July and the annual All Girl Pool Party), my own long stint with bronchitis (I am finally starting to feel better after two weeks of being violently ill and having asthma attacks, which I hadn't had since I was nine years old), and now Parker's ear infection, double eye infection, dog bite, and vaccine reaction. I've been crazy busy. I've been yearning to get back to blogging, even going so far as to consider creating an online journal and going back to my high school era diary style writing. So here I am. I promise, I'll try not to go away for this long again.

And The Winner Is...

The winner of The Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment Laundry Soap Giveaway (brought to you by CrunchyMoms and All Things Diapers) is...........

TRESHENNA!  (Ms Polka Dottie) :)

Congradulations!

Treshenna will be receiving a package of Charlie's Soap Laundry Powder, courtesy of All Things Diapers.

CrunchyMom's Guide to Car Seat Safety [Part Two]

In my last post I listed the most common car seat laws and safety guidelines in the United States.  In this post I will list more car seat safety tips and guidelines. 

Car seat safety has become even more important to me as yesterday I was in an accident with both my children and my fiance in the car.  After picking up my car from the "shop" where they replaced two of my tires and rotated all of them, I heard a bumpy noise upon leaving the parking lot.  I went to the gas station and then started back home.  The sound got worse and the steering wheel started moving on its own.  I slowed down to turn around and go back to the "shop" to have them check it out when my passenger side front tire flew off and across the sidewalk.  Luckily, we were going less than 15 mph, but had we been going any faster, it could have been bad.  Our seat belts and my children's car seats kept us from being thrown forward and to the right when the tire flew off.

Car Seat Safety Tips & Guidelines

• Never ever EVER alter your child safety seat in any way.  This includes but is not limited to:

1. Handmade or store bought custom car seat covers.  Sure they're cute, but they aren't safe.  Some manufacturers make different covers specifically for their car seats.  This is fine because it's made by the manufacturer FOR that particular car seat.
2. Head positioners.  If your car seat comes with a head positioner it's fine to use it.  You can also remove these as the car seat will have been tested with and without the positioner.  However, if your car seat didn't come with one, DO NOT add one.
3. Towels under harness straps.  I honestly wasn't aware of this one, but apparently it's among the bad advice given to parents.  Do not put ANYTHING between your child and the straps.
4. Some manufacturers consider toy bars to be dangerous and use of them will void your warranty.
 

• Make sure your car seats safety straps are adjusted properly for your child.  The rule (at least the one I have heard most often) is, if you're rear facing, the straps should be at the slot at or just underneath your child's shoulders and come up and over your child's shoulders.  If you're forward facing the straps should be at or just above your child's shoulders.

• Never use puffy jackets or snowsuits with car seats.  The rule is- if you have to adjust the straps to allow for the extra thickness of the jacket or snowsuit, it's dangerous.  Try a thinner but warmer jacket or just put your child in warm clothing, strap them in, put a blanket over their body, and bring the jackets and snowsuits with (for going between the car and your destination and/or emergencies in cold weather).  I know this one is harder for us mommas in colder climates, but it's safer.  Your child can be thrown out of their jacket and their car seat.  I've heard stories of children being thrown from the car seat but their jacket still being under the straps.

• This is one I don't understand, but I'm putting it here anyway, because it says so in my manual, and lots of mommas online brought this one to my attention as well.  When driving, make sure the handle on an infant seat is down (and clicked down too, not just haphazardly pushed down- I get on my fiance's case all the time about this one). 

• There should only be one inch or less of wiggle room at the bottom of the car seat or car seat base.

• Find a car seat that works for your child AND your vehicle.  Some car seats don't work too well in some vehicles.  For example, my daughters convertible car seat works great in my car, but it tilts and moves too much in my fiance's car.  Some stores will let you test out car seats before you buy.  Most will let you return a seat if it doesn't work for your child or vehicle.

• At least 80% of the car seats base should be on the vehicle's seat.

• Rear facing car seats should be at angled at 45 degrees or less.  This is so baby's head stays in contact with the seat and their airways are kept open.

• Use the pinch test to make sure the harness straps are tight enough.  You shouldn't be able to pinch the straps at the shoulder.

• In a five point harness seat, the clip should be at chest level, in between your child's armpits.

• Use either the cars latch system OR the seat belt to secure the car seat.  Do not use both.

• Car seats generally expire after six years.  Some expire after ten years, however.  Please make sure by checking the expiration date of your car seat.  A lot of seats will have the expiration date stamped on the bottom.

• Never buy or borrow a used car seat unless you are absolutely 100% sure of it's history.  People selling things online or in a garage sale want to make money and probably wont be completely honest with you about when they bought it or if it's ever been in an accident.

• Once your car seat has been in an accident, it's time to replace it.

• Check your car seat frequently for signs of wear or damage.

• Only add toys to a toybar that you would be comfortable having hit your child in the head or face.  Don't use hard toys.  Toys can injure your child in a crash.

• Learn to lock your seat belts to keep the car seat installed tightly.  

• Make sure you check the manufacturers instructions for cleaning your car seat.  Bleach and rough washing can damage straps, buckles, and other parts, and you want those parts working properly if you're in a crash.

• Frighteningly enough, some car seat experts have seen people using duct tape and bungee cords to repair car seats or replace parts of car seats.  I swear to God if any of you ever do this, or if I see anyone do this, I will literally explode and then haunt you for the rest of my life.

• Don't ignore the height and weight restrictions on your car seat.  If your child is too heavy, the straps can pull through.  If they're too tall, their heads wont be protected in a crash.

• If your child is tall, their legs bending or touching the back of the vehicles seat is NOT an excuse to switch to forward facing.  That being said, I do know a woman whose 10 month old daughter literally has to sit almost completely cross legged when rear facing.  I honestly can't find any information on what to do in that situation.  However, I'm fairly certain that this situation is extremely rare.

• Don't put car seats on grocery carts unless the cart has a system specifically meant to secure a car seat (apparently these exist, I've never seen any though).  Children have died when their parents hit a bump with the cart and the car seat falls off.

• Remember that anything loose in the car can be a potential hazard.  Got a case of soda on the seat?  Got an ice scraper in the back?  In a crash, anything can fly anywhere, so it's best to put these things in the trunk or rear of an SUV/MiniVan.

• An old and outdated rule is that you should be able to fit two fingers between your child and the seat belt or harness straps.  This is NOT true.  The belt and/or straps need to be tighter than that.  Use the pinch test to determine if the straps are tight enough.

• If you use your vehicles latch system, read your vehicles manual to make sure you know the weight limits and guidelines for using this system!  Different vehicles have different guidelines so make sure you know the guidelines for YOUR vehicle.

• The safest place for a car seat is in the middle of the back seat.  However, it's more important that the car seat be properly installed.  If the seat can be more safely installed on a "window seat" then put it there.  And obviously if you have more than one child, you can't do this.  I have two children and always put the youngest in the middle.

• Always wear your own seat belt to be a good example for your children.

• I asked for input on Facebook and one lovely woman said:  RYDM!  (read your damn manual)  I really like this, so I will repeat her advice, RYDM!

The most important thing I can add to this list is:  If you're confused or unsure, find a car seat tech and have the seat properly installed and have them show you how to install it correctly!

Remember that contrary to popular belief, most police officers and firefighters are NOT trained in car seat safety.  Always have your seat installation checked out by a certified car seat technician.

CrunchyMom's Guide to Car Seat Safety [Part One]

Car seat safety is a big deal among crunchy parents.  Everyone is talking about car seat safety, and jumping down other mother's throats when it comes to this issue.  For those of you who feel overwhelmed with all the car seat nazi talk going around, I've constructed this article which includes all the car seat safety tips and laws that I can find.

Car Seat Laws & Guidelines

• All children should be in an appropriate car seat or booster seat until they are 4 feet 9 inches tall and 80-100 pounds.  Most children will reach these limits between 8-12 years of age.

• Children 12 years of age and under must remain in the back seat of the car at all times.

• Infant style car seats are best for small infants and are usually usable from 4-5 pounds (birth-weight) until 20-22 pounds.  Different manufacturers have different guidelines, so please use this only as a general idea and CHECK YOUR CAR SEAT MANUAL for actual guidelines.  

• Convertible car seats are generally considered the safest option.  They usually can be used rear facing from birth to 20-22 pounds and forward facing from 20 pounds to 40-65 pounds depending on the model.  Try to get a seat with the highest rear and forward facing limits that you can both find and afford.

• Federal law says that children must remain rear facing until age one AND 20 pounds as a minimum.  New rear facing guidelines recommend rear facing your child until two years of age.  Because of these new recommendations, some convertible seats are now able to be used in a rear facing position until much higher weights.  Check your model for manufacturers guidelines and limits regarding weight/height recommendations.

• The guidelines for booster seats are usually age four, and 40 pounds or more.  However, if your child can still ride safely in his/her convertible seat, that is the best option.  From car-safety.org : "If a child's shoulders are above the level of the top slots in their regular car seat, or the tops of their ears are above the top of the shell, then they may be able to move to a booster or another forward-facing seat which accommodates taller children.  Usually a child can be moved to a booster when they are too big for a harnessed car seat, and once they are able to sit properly in a seat belt."

• When your child is using a booster seat, the seat belt must be used properly.  Do not put the shoulder belt under their arm or behind their back.  Also, make sure the lap belt rests across their hips, not the soft part of their stomach.  You must use both the lap belt and the shoulder belt with a booster seat.

• Owners of pickup trucks that don't have an extended cab or in which the extended cab is too small or incompatible with a child safety seat can legally have their child's car seat in the front seat of the truck.  However, the passenger air bag must be turned OFF when there are children riding in the front of the truck. 

• Your child is ready to use a seat belt without a booster seat when they can pass the Safety Belt Fit Test.

The Safety Belt Fit Test [from safekids.org]

• Have your child sit in a back seat with their bottom and back against the vehicle’s seat back.  Do the child’s knees bend at the seat’s edge?  If yes, go on. If not, the child must stay in a booster seat.
• Buckle the seat belt.  Does the lap belt stay low on the hips?  If yes, go on.  If it rests on the soft part of the stomach, the child must stay in a booster seat.
• Look at the shoulder belt. Does it lay on the collarbone and shoulder? If yes, go on. If it is on the face or neck, the child must remain in a booster seat.
  
  
  • Never put the shoulder belt under the child’s arm or behind the child’s back. Do not allow children to play with the shoulder portion of a seat belt. Treat it like any cord.
• Can the child maintain the correct seating position with the shoulder belt on the shoulder and the lap belt low across the hips? If yes, the child has passed the Safety Belt Fit Test. If no, the child should return to a booster seat and re-test in a month.  

Don't forget to read Part Two of my car seat safety series!

The Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment :: Experiment Wrap-Up

After a long hiatus due to the Holiday Season, a broken computer keyboard, followed by a broken computer, followed by a major flood of our bathroom, kitchen, and basement (installation of our new BumGenius diaper sprayer didn't go so smoothly), Crunchy Moms is finally back in the blogosphere!  To celebrate our return, we're wrapping up the Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment!

It was a hard decision, and one I poured (gallons and gallons of water) over (stinky diapers) for over a month!  I couldn't decided how to finalize the experiment so I just decided to give you my results and opinions straight and bluntly. 

• After using the Thirsties for only a week, I realized that my diapers were still stinky.  When they were wet out of the wash, they smelled horrible.  Out of the dryer they weren't so bad but once they got wet, stink city!

• The Rockin' Green cleaned my diapers fairly well, but I realized I needed to do a couple extra rinse cycles to get the extra suds and the oily residue from the fragrance oils out of my diapers.

• Charlie's smells like windex, but it cleaned my diapers fantastically.  I looked up the material safety data sheet for the laundry powder, as I had heard concerns about toxic substances in the all purpose cleaner.  The MSDS didn't list any toxic chemicals in the laundry powder, so I feel comfortable recommending it.   And of course, the real point of this experiment, with Charlie's: The stink was gone! 

So Charlie's Soap Laundry Powder is the W I N N E R !!!

I will note, however, in our household, we have decided to use a mixture of Charlie's and Rockin' Green on our diapers.  I love the scents of the Rockin' Green detergent and I love the cleaning power of Charlie's.  I've always been a bit of a tester and a mixer of cleaning agents, and I've found that this combo cleans our diapers wonderfully and makes doing diaper laundry fun!

Tonight I will chose the winner of the contest at random.  The winner will receive a package of Charlie's Soap Laundry Powder, courtesy of All Things Diapers!

If you haven't already entered the contest, you still have time!  The contest will close at Midnight (CST) tonight, Friday, January 6th, 2012!  Go to our first post in this series to find out how to enter!

Seven Ways Wednesdays - Seven Ways to "Crunchify" Your Life

In honor of my son, I am presenting Seven Ways Wednesdays. Today is Wednesday the Seventh and my son, Parker was born on Wednesday the Seventh in September of this year. So, to celebrate Parker, and to help myself, and you, my readers, get down and crunchy, I will be posting Seven Ways to Crunchify Your Life every Wednesday until Parker turns the big Oh One!

1. Try cloth wipes - They save you money, save space in landfills, and are a good way to test the waters before jumping into cloth diapering.
2. Make your own baby food - You don't need expensive equipment, just a blender, food mill, or food processor; ice cube trays or similar freezer safe containers; and fresh fruits and vegetables.
3. Wear your baby - Try out a carrier, wrap, or sling and enjoy the benefits of having baby close to you: more hands free time to get stuff done, cuddle time, and a (usually) happier baby!
4. Diva Cup / Mamma Cloth - Look into alternate, more eco-friendly menstrual management solutions.  Not only are they better for the environment, they're also better for your health and cheaper in the long run.
5. Try (safe) co sleeping - Check out the co sleeping safety resources on my adventures in co-sleeping page above and spend a night in the family bed.
6. Trade in your Clorox, Lysol, and Mr Clean for safer, more natural household cleaners - You can make your own, for very little money, with peroxide, baking soda, and vinegar, or you can purchase reasonably priced store versions from brands like Seventh Generation, Method, and 
7. Check all baby products for BPA - Most bottles and pacifiers are made BPA Free these days but check out your baby's belongings to make sure none snuck there way into your home.

I will be posting seven more easy and inexpensive ways to "Crunchify" your life each week.  Don't forget to subscribe to my blog (via Google Friend Connect, RSS, or Email) so you don't miss any of my tips and ideas.  We will go from the very basic to the very dedicated as the series continues.  

Sibling Rivalry

Fighting for bed space.

They just said my son's name on television. (aka I love BONES)

I love the TV show Bones.  I love it so much that I named my son after one of the shows characters.  Granted, Parker is a minor character (He's the son of David Boreanaz's character, Booth, for those of you who don't follow it.  He's only been in a handful of episodes.), but I love the name and I love the show.

I'm currently watching an episode of Bones on Hulu right now.  They were talking about a particular toy and Booth said, "Parker loves those," and I was confused for a moment.

It's so weird hearing my sons name said on television.  Even though I named him after a character on this exact show.

It happens a lot with my daughter too, "Aria" tends to get said a lot, especially in movies or shows referring to opera.  But this is the first time it happened with my son's name.

Have you ever been weirded out for a minute when hearing your child's name on television or in a movie?  Feel free to share in the comments below.

This One...

Inspired This One.

An (Unwanted) Break From Cloth Diapers (why I'll never go back to disposables)

Disposable diapers smell like pee.

All.   The.  Time.

I never really noticed until today.  All of our cloth was in the wash (due to the Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment) so we pulled out the 'sposies.  So gross.  We've been using cloth for a while now and we've gotten used to super absorbent, pee-smell-free diapers.

I also didn't realize how much we have cut down on actual diaper changes since switching to cloth.  Parker goes for 2-3 hours or so in a cloth diaper.  In a disposable he lasts about an hour before the pee smell sets in and he needs to be changed.

Needless to say, I will not be trading in my Subaby and Bum Genius diapers for Pampers or Huggies any time soon.

I prefer my son to smell like baby, not like pee.

The Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment & Laundry Detergent Giveaway {Part Three}

Welcome to part {{THREE}} of The Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment!

This installment includes diaper drama, bubbly badness, and a daring feat called "The Sniff Test".

After my initial assessments of the three laundry detergents, I dove right in and got started.  I divided my diapers and liners into three groups and paired each group with one of the three detergents.

Pink and Purple Diapers and Plain Liners

+

Thirsties Super Wash

Blue and Green Diapers and Wonderfulls Liners

+

Rockin' Green Classic Rock

Red, Yellow, and Orange Diapers and Liners with Buttons

+

Charlie's Soap Laundry Powder

After the first rinse, there were tons of bubbles from my previous detergent (all small and mighty free and clear).  I always rinse at least three times after the wash cycle so I was kind of surprised to find this much residue coming out.  Look at all those bubbles!

Gross right?  

I decided to judge the detergents based on the results of a these different tests:

The Sniff Test 

(after washing is complete)

The Second Sniff Test 

(after drying is complete)

The Pee Test 

(Does the diaper stink as soon as anything wet hits it?)

The Softness Test

(how the diaper feels after being washed)

The Absorbency Test

(Does the diaper/liner soak up wetness or repel it?)

Check Back Soon to find out how each detergent did when put up against my strict standards and super hero sense of smell!

And don't forget to check out Part One to enter the giveaway for a chance to win a package of the winning detergent!

The trio of cloth cleansers donated to the cause by All Things Diapers

The Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment

Part One

Part Two

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How do I get any work done with a baby and a (jealous) four year old?

Today has been an interesting day.  Parker, my 11 week old, is teething (at least I'm fairly certain he's teething), drooling everywhere, running a bit of a fever, and is about as cranky as a baby can be.  Aria, my four year old daughter, is in full blown jealousy mode.  She whines and complains about the amount of time I spend feeding and holding her brother.

My question of the day...

How do I get any work done in this situation?  How do you guys do it?  How do you handle jealousy between siblings?  And how do you handle teething?

Please feel free to share suggestions and ideas in the comments below.



----------------------------------------
I adore my readers and hope you feel the same way about me.  

Please sign up for your very own free email subscription or follow me by joining Crunchy Moms using the handy dandy links at the top right hand corner of this page.  

You can also follow me on Twitter, or check out my YouTube channel.

I Show My Boobs In Public! (Why I refuse to cover up while breastfeeding in public no matter how much other women want me to!)

 Fun-bags.     Boobies.     Jugs.     Tig Ole Bitties.     Knockers.     Dirty pillows.


Whatever you call them, they're definitely a big (and sometimes just-a-handful sized) deal.
  
Whether you're being poked in the face with naughty magazine spreads, watching a Lady Gaga video, walking for breast cancer, chillin' at the club, or sitting in a high school classroom... BOOBS ARE EVERYWHERE!


Americans love boobs more than we love Apple Pie, Baseball, and Jesus all combined!  And why wouldn't we?  They're fun to touch, fun to look at, and fun to jiggle.


But much to the dismay of the average American, they're also for feeding babies.  


In America, the sight of a woman (or teenage girl) walking down the street with her lady lumps hanging out for everyone to see is a fairly normal, and fairly celebrated, occurance.  But when those breasts are feeding a baby in public it's a whole new ballgame.


When my son was born, I said I would nurse in public, under the protection of a nursing cover or blanket.  I, for one, was going to have no problem with nursing in public.  If people didn't like it, I would simply point towards the blanket as a silent explanation of decency.


After the first two times I breastfed my son in public, under that soft yet awkward baby blanket, I just gave up.  I quit.  I was not dealing with that blanket anymore.  So I did what made the most sense to me.


I switched to formula?  No.
I switched to expressed milk in bottles?  NO.
I hid away in bathrooms and changing stations?  NO!!!


I simply sat down in a comfortable location, pulled out one of the twins (who I have affectionately named Daisy and Duke), and stuck it in my sons mouth.


That's it.  Cumbersome blanket problem solved.  


I breastfed in my local WIC office, not too big of a deal since there were posters of mothers breastfeeding on the wall.  I breastfed at the bank, also not a huge thing.  I breastfed at the playground, no one really noticed.  I breastfed at the Children's Museum, other mothers smiled, as did some of the younger kids.


And then I breastfed in Target.  We were shopping for teething rings and nose suckers when my son, uncomfortable from his runny nose and sore gums, wanted to be fed.  And he wanted to be fed NOW!  So I pulled down the strap of my tank top and my bra and quickly pulled him in to latch on.  My arm was around his neck and shoulders and my sweater covered a lot.  But, as I was walking around and not sitting somewhere quietly, I was noticed.  And...


I was laughed at.  


Yes, laughed at.  Three women coming in to the store took one look at me and all began laughing and not-quite-whispering to each other.  My first instinct was to make a comment about how they wouldn't be laughing when their children were sick, clutching their formula bottles with germ filled hands.  But I took the high road.  Which, by the way, is very hard for me.  I choked down the snarky comments that were rising into the back of my throat and I simply shot them my biggest, brightest, megawatt smile.  And I felt great.  No shame, no embarrassment, no blushing.  I was feeding my baby and I didn't care what they thought.


I felt very empowered after this incident and knew I would have no problem breastfeeding in public from then on.  


And then I went to the Mall of America.  My family, my best friend, and I went to Sealife USA at the Mall of America for my 29th birthday.  Because I am a child at heart.  Also, we're pretty broke at the moment and we have a membership (bought for my future marine veterinarian daughter for her birthday last year), so it was free.  We went to Lush (pretty much my favorite store at MOA) and then went to Build-A-Bear (pretty much my daughters favorite store EVER).  


While my daughter was combing through the racks of lilliputian stuffed animal clothing, my son began to cue that it was time to eat.  So, my best friend, Taylor, and I made our way out to the comfy couch-like sitting area just outside of the store.  I sat down on the farthest edge of one of the cushions.  Even though I have no problem breastfeeding in public, I still don't want to shove the girls in peoples faces- other than my sons- (and, in other ways, my fiances) so I usually try to find a spot that isn't right smack next to other people.  Apparently my courtesy went unnoticed, but my breasts didn't.


Even though I was turned away from her, the woman sitting next to me made a big showy deal of turning around so she couldn't see me.  Which really didn't make sense as she turned around every few seconds to look at me.  She began "whispering" to her friend about how disgusting it was that I was nursing my son in *Gasp* public!  According to Taylor, they continued to "whisper" and to look over at me with disgusted, smirky faces the entire time I was feeding my son.


REALLY?


In my admittedly short experience breastfeeding in public (my son is at the ripe old age of eleven weeks), I've noticed that it is usually women of childbearing age that are the most offended, shocked, and disgusted by a woman breastfeeding her baby.  


:: Older women and men smile or nod at me.


:: Men in their 20s, 30s, and 40s usually smile or don't respond at all.


:: Teenage girls just want to look at my baby because he's "sooooo (insert squeal) cute!"


:: Teenage boys don't really pay any attention, although I have caught a couple stealing a second glimpse, probably not of the baby, but not in a gross or obvious way.


:: Children don't seem to notice and the very rare ones that do smile at me.  Perhaps because they miss their nursing days themselves?


::  One security guard looked confused, like he wasn't sure what to do, or if what I was doing was allowed, but he didn't say anything.


:: My fiance (who fathered both of my children in case anyone is wondering), who is normally very shy and easily embarrassed, isn't bothered by it.


::  My son, who loves his Momma Milk, smiles and his whole face lights up whenever I pull one of the girls out.


But women, WOMEN have the problem.  Childbearing aged women.  These are the people who are the most likely to be right next to me, nursing their own children.  But instead they make comments, whisper, and act shocked and disgusted.  What's wrong with this picture?  


I can't help but wonder, if I were to take a survey of the women who have reacted negatively, how many of them bottle fed and feel guilty about it? (I personally fed my daughter formula and have no regrets or issues with bottle feeding, so please don't think that I'm trying to start a breastfeeding mafia war.  I am definitely not.)  


I wonder how many of them are fighting the little green monster, not having their own children yet?  I wonder if they don't have children yet because they scare away every man they meet with their negative, snarky attitudes and obviously low self esteem.


And, I'm sure, due to America's view that the breasts are purely sexual toys and objects of gratification, some of the women feel dirty even thinking about using their own breasts for such purposes.  


I wonder how many would react that way if I were a small chested woman?  Perhaps the fact that I have E cups and not A cups makes my nursing my son in public pornographic?    Or maybe they just want my bra size.  Either way, this is a factor I'm definitely interested in investigating.


Most of the people who have witnessed me nursing my son have not commented or reacted in any way.  Even though they might be thinking certain negative thoughts, they don't speak them or show them on their faces.  But these women made comments and attempted, unsuccessfully, to make me feel embarrassed and shamed.  Why must women constantly tear each other down?  


We should all be supporting a woman's right to use her body to feed her child anywhere that she pleases.  Women were given breasts (by God, by evolution, by whomever or whatever you personally choose to believe in) for two little reasons, and one big one.


:: For sexual pleasure.
:: To look great in clothes.


And the biggie, the most important, functional reason of all...


::  To feed their young.


Humans are mammals and mammals produce milk to feed their young.  While we may be the only mammals to derive sexual pleasure from our breasts, we are still mammals and our breasts were given to us to feed our offspring.


When my cat, Penny, had kittens, she not only breastfed her babies, she breastfeed them in public (well, our living room), she breastfed in front of the other cats and people without feeling embarrassed, and she breastfed for an extended period of time. (Have you ever seen a cat nursing a kitten that is almost the same size as her?  I have.  I will admit, it was a little weird... imagine breastfeeding your 16 year old.)  She didn't whip out little kitten sized bottles and mix up a can of Enfakitty or Simmeowlac.  She didn't hide under the bed (though she did give birth there) while she nursed.  She didn't crawl under a blanket to nurse in private.  She did what nature intended and NURSED her babies, out in the open, no matter who was watching.


I will be like my cat, Penny.  I will nurse when I want, where I want, when my child says it's time.  I won't put off feeding him, hide away in a dirty bathroom stall, hide under a blanket (which seems to draw more attention anyway), or lug around bottles of formula or expressed milk.  


I will pull out my Dirty Pillows (I love you, Stephen King), offer them to my child, and let him eat the food nature intended.  And I will be proud of my breasts.  They nourish my son, they are a comfortable place for my daughter to rest her head when she's upset, and they keep me warm on a Minnesota winter night.  


I'm not saying all women should breastfeed in public.  Some just won't feel comfortable, and that's ok.  I'm saying we should be able to do what we want with our own breasts (within the confines of the law of course- most states have laws in place protecting breastfeeding in public) and feed our children anytime and anywhere we want.


So if you and your child feel so inclined, show your boobs in public, and be proud!

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The Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment & Giveaway! {Part Two}

In my last post I told you about how the beautiful and generous people at All Things Diapers gave me three different types of cloth diaper safe laundry detergent to conduct an intense experiment.

The goal:  rid my diapers of stink.

The contenders:

Rockin' Green Classic Rock, Thirsties Super Wash, Charlie's Soap

I rated the three detergents on several preliminary tests before I began the actual experiment.  The initial tests were: Packaging (aesthetics), Packaging (ease of use), Looks (the detergent itself), Smells, Ingredients (how many of the ingredients are listed), and Ingredients (what the ingredients actually are).

And without further delay...

Rockin' Green Classic Rock

Packaging (aesthetics) :: 5 points.  

Let's face it, it's a super shiny package and it's got great marketing.  

Packaging (ease of use) :: 3 points.

The zipper bag is cute but hard to close when the detergent gets in the zipper and it didn't come with a scoop.  Luckily, I purchased a pretty little hot pink scoop that has magnets inside to stick to your washing machine (everything gets lost with a four year old in the house) from All Things Diapers.

Looks ::  4 points

The detergent looks like fluffy white snow so it's definitely pretty but it also doesn't scream "cleans your clothes" to me when I look at it.

Smells :: 4 points

I chose the Smashing Watermelons scent for my own use, which smells amazing, but, since the other two detergents are unscented, I felt it wouldn't be fair to rate them against a scented detergent.  So I used a sample packet of Rockin' Green Bare Naked Babies (unscented) for this test.  It smells a little like soap, but not really chemically.

Ingredients (listed) :: 5 points.

This detergent lists ALL of its ingredients, which isn't very common.

Ingredients (actual) :: 5 points.

:: sodium carbonate , sodium percarbonate, natural chelating agents, sodium sulfate, bio-degradable surfactants, fragrance oils (if scented is chosen)::

The Annoying Zipper Bag.

Looks like pure clean snow.

The cutest hot pink magnetic laundry scoop ever!

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Charlie's Soap

Packaging (aesthetics) :: 4 points.  

It's plainer than the other two and looks like it would be marketed more towards men than women.  It doesn't look like something I would look at and think, "Hey, this would be great for my baby's diapers."  But it still has a pleasing look in it's own way.  

Packaging (ease of use) :: 4 points.

It has an easy screw off lid and a little green scoop that is just the right size.  It could be spilled easily though so I took off one little point.

Looks ::  5 points

It definitely looks like it would clean anything pretty well.  It has that polished look.  It's hard to explain what I mean, but you'd get it once you look at it.  By looks alone, I feel the most confident in this one to actually clean my diapers.

Smells :: 2 points

It smells like Windex, which honestly freaks me out a bit.

Ingredients (listed) :: 3 points.

It has some of the ingredients listed, but not all.

Ingredients (actual) :: 2 points.

Some of them seem natural, but I've heard too many things about the non listed ingredients to feel comfortable giving this a higher score.

Perfect Sized Green Scoop.

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Thirsties Super Wash

Packaging (aesthetics) :: 5 points.  

It's liquid in a clear bottle with a pretty little spring time themed label.  The colors and flowers and grass on the label definitely say, "Diapers & Baby Butts".

Packaging (ease of use) :: 5 points.

It has a measuring cup built in.  You take the cap off the measuring cup side and squeeze it to fill it to the right level.  I tried every possible thing I could think of to get this to spill more than the right amount and I couldn't.  It's actually a really good system.  And no scoops or cups to lose.

Looks ::  3 points

It looks like water.  That doesn't instill confidence in me.

Smells :: 4 points

It smells like water with a tiny bit of soap in it.

Ingredients (listed) :: .5 points.

Yes, that's point five points.  There are no ingredients listed on the label AT ALL.  I only gave the half a point because some of them are listed on the website.

Ingredients (actual) :: 3 points.

Most of the ingredients are natural and sound wonderful, but they aren't all listed so I can't be 100% sure.

The best measuring system EVER!

Tomorrow, I will post the results of the first and second washes.

Don't forget to read the first in this series The Great Diaper Stink Experiment {Part One} to enter the giveaway!  One lucky reader will win a package of the winning detergent, courtesy of All Things Diapers.

The Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment

Part One

Part Three

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I adore my readers and hope you feel the same way about me.  


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Attachment Parents & Helicopter Parents: Not Necessarily One In The Same

I love attachment parenting.  I love cuddling with my four year old when she's having a bad day.  I love sleeping next to my 8 week old at night.  I'm terrified of SIDS.  I'm also terrified something bad will happen to my kids, even if it's just a scraped knee. 

But I'm not so terrified that I don't let them out of my sight.

A not-so-new and not-so-fun trend in parenting is Helicopter Parenting.  Imagine a parent hovering over their child constantly, even into the college years, taking care of every problem the child ever has.  That is helicopter parenting.  And it's something I am against entirely, possibly more than I am against letting babies "cry it out".

At least with cry it out (which I desperately hate) parents are giving their children breathing room.  The helicopters don't.  It starts with never leaving baby alone, even for a second, because they might roll off the blanket on the floor onto the actual floor, pick up a stray piece of dirt or cat hair, put it in their mouth, possibly even swallow it, get incredibly sick, and/or die.  It ends with parents sitting in on post-college job interviews with their kids and then calling the company to yell at them for not hiring sweet little Johnnykins.  After all, mommy was there during the interview and saw how wonderfully Johnnykinsybabywabysweetiepie did answering those questions (after turning to mom to figure out how to answer first of course). 

These things really happen.  There are parents that end up at job interviews with their 22 year old "kids".  And it starts out of fear.  I'm no stranger to fear.  I have severe (albeit treated) OCD.  I'm terrified that my kids will die if I don't use exactly 9 squares of toilet paper.  I feel the most comfortable when my children sleep in my bed with me so I know that if anything happens I will be right next to them.  But I know that a lot of my fears are irrational. 

As Lenore Skenazy of Free Range Kids often points out, crime is actually DOWN since most parents were kids (I'm a bit younger than a lot of parents so I'm not sure if those statistics fit me).  And it's common knowledge that most child abductions and child sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone the child KNOWS.  Yet we live in a world of fear.  Parents accompany their kids outside to play and stay within two feet of them at all times in their own back yards.  Parents drive their kids to school so that they aren't subjected to peer pressure, bullying, or the male driver (because all men are child molesters) on the bus.  Parents don't let their children play with their friends across the street because obviously a 10 year old has no concept of how dangerous cars are and will dart right out into traffic if mommy or daddy isn't paying constant, vigilant, attention.

How does this relate to crunchy, attachment parenting parents?  When you think about attachment parenting and some of the crunchier practices that often go right along with it, it's a fairly easy gateway to helicopter parenting.  Making sure children aren't exposed to toxins, breastfeeding to prevent illness, babywearing, and co sleeping can all lead to overprotective parenting.  You keep your children so close as babies and toddlers it's hard to stop when they get older. 

The reason children are born, grow, and get older is to eventually turn into adults.  The reason we (well I hope this is the reason) choose attachment parenting is to develop a good relationship with our children, to make sure they feel secure and safe, and so that they (hopefully) grow into well adjusted, productive, happy adults.  While being close to your children is important in their upbringing, so is letting them have freedom to make mistakes.  Mistakes are a big part of how we, as humans, learn and grow.  The great part about attachment parenting is that, because of the good relationship you worked so hard to have with your children, they will come to you when they make those mistakes and get themselves in over their heads.  But they need to be free to make those mistakes first.

Even in my constant OCD fueled fear, I know that my children are people, not possessions to be protected and locked away like a precious piece of jewelry in a museum.  While they are precious and infinitely valuable to me, they are still people.  We, as parents, and especially as attachment parents, need to know where to draw the line at our attachment.  The umbilical cord gets cut for a reason. 

My oldest child is a beautiful, creative, brilliant, and very adventurous four year old girl named Aria.  Aria is very much the poster child for attachment parenting.  We used the methods of attachment parenting with her, not because it was a trendy thing to do (in fact, we didn't know attachment parenting existed until she was about three), but because those particular methods worked for us.  In the midst of a very ugly battle with post partum depression, co sleeping and babywearing made me feel close to my baby and thus made me feel better.  For the longest time I couldn't stand to sleep without her at night or be separated from her at work. 

However, as most children inevitably do, she began to grow up.  We moved into an amazing neighborhood full of children of all ages, and she, of course, wanted to play with them.  The fully fenced in back yard that we were so excited about having, so she could play safely without us constantly watching over her, lay dormant (until Plankton the Jackabee and a pumpkin garden entered our lives, but that's another post) while she played with the neighbor kids in the front yard, near the (gasp) street.  She soon made friends with the kids across the street, so, with a little street crossing education, she began to play in their yards as well. 

Now my (not so little) baby girl wakes up in the morning, and instead of waking us up, she gets herself dressed (she has a great sense of style too), let's the dog out, grabs a snack, let's the dog back in, and goes on her little way, outside and across the street to play with her friends. 

She's four years old.

If my four year old can handle this huge chunk of independence, I'm fairly certain 22 year old Johnnykins can make it through a job interview alone.  The difference between an independent child like mine and an extremely dependent adult-child like Johnykins comes down to one thing.  It's not personality (Aria is painfully shy at times), and it's not intelligence (although she does have that- from her momma of course).  It's simply the fact that I, as a parent, have allowed and encouraged my daughter to stake out her own independence, even when what I really wanted to do was hold her on my lap and watch Barney like we did in the old days, and poor little Johnnykins' mom, did not. 

Trick Or Treat - - - No Boobs To Eat?

Today I grappled with the age old dilemma most parents face at some point or another during the adventure that is parenting.

How  the do you keep a breastfed baby happy while trick or treating with older children?

It seems like it wouldn't be too hard really, but let me tell you.  It is.  Older kids RUN from house to house, cutting through yards, leaping over landscaping, and pushing each other to get to the front of the line at each door with a lit porchlight and a pumpkin on the doorstep.  Babies don't run.  They demand to be fed when THEY want to be fed.  They don't care that their preschool aged sisters want to cram as much free candy into a pillowcase as they possibly can.  And preschool aged sisters don't care that their baby brothers want to stop and drink some Momma Milk.

We feed our son (who experienced his first Halloween at the ripe old age of not-quite-eight-weeks-old) the occasional bottle of formula.  So we thought we'd be ok.  Until we ran out of formula in a cul-de-sac fifteen minutes away from home (and the emergency can of Similac).  Our children also tend to dislike pacifiers, and the adorable generic Nemo one we brought was locked in the diaper bag in the car several culs-de-sac away (yes the plural of cul-de-sac IS, in fact, culs-de-sac).

So needless to say, by the end of the night, after a lot of butt patting, finger sucking, empty bottle nipple sucking, and cuddly bouncy walking, we (and by we I mean my husband and my best friend who took turns carrying the baby while I carried the candy bags- for security purposes of course) were exhausted and Parker was ready for some DAMNED MOMMA MILK!  If babies could talk, I'm fairly certain he would have screamed those exact words.

Next year he will be a year old.  He will probably go more than 30 minutes between feedings.  So any advice you can give me on this topic is moot for him.  However, what happens when we have another tiny baby joining us on our Trick Or Treating Extravaganza ( we were the first to start at 5pm and the last out at 9pm)?  So I've decided to throw out a few ideas I thought of after we were warm in our home for the night.

@  Learn to walk and breastfeed at the same time.  (I figured this one out right as we were hitting our last house of the night- Grandma & Papa's.)

@  Figure out a way to force the older children to take breaks. (Please tell me how in the comments section.  Please!)

@  Make sure you bring not just one bottle of formula or expressed milk, but two... or three... or maybe twenty.

Of course, I'm fairly certain that not all parents take their kids (and the neighbors kids, and the old neighbors kids) Trick Or Treating for FOUR, eff-ohhh-yooo-arr, FOUR hours straight.  But those who don't are definitely jealous of baby Parker's candy stash.

And since baby Parker is only 8 weeks old and he can't really eat candy...  He will be having Reese's, Kit Kat, and Hershey flavored breastmilk (without interruption) for the next few weeks.  :)

So, if any of you lovelies out there have any tips/suggestions/ideas on how to deal with breastfeeding and non-stop trick or treating, please, for the love of God (or whomever you choose to fill in that blank with), please, PLEASE, feel free to share in the comments!


Oh, and in case you were wondering, Parker was a Banana for Halloween.

Today I learned about Power Pumping.  There are different definitions of power pumping but the basic idea is to pump frequently for a set amount of time to get your supply up (or maintain your supply if you suffer from a chronic low supply).

One of the websites I looked at suggested pumping for 10 minutes, resting for 10, repeat, repeat.  I tried this tonight but I think I was timing the pumping sessions a little too close together.  Tomorrow I'm going to try pumping, resting for a half hour, then pumping again and repeating for about two to three hours.  This is, of course, in addition to my usual pumping "schedule" (it's still a work in progress).

Baby Parker eats on a very random schedule.  It's usually every hour and forty-five minutes but then he will go on random cluster feeding sprees during the day as well. Nighttime is a completely different story but I'll get more into that in a later post.