CrunchyMom's Guide to Car Seat Safety [Part Two]

In my last post I listed the most common car seat laws and safety guidelines in the United States.  In this post I will list more car seat safety tips and guidelines. 

Car seat safety has become even more important to me as yesterday I was in an accident with both my children and my fiance in the car.  After picking up my car from the "shop" where they replaced two of my tires and rotated all of them, I heard a bumpy noise upon leaving the parking lot.  I went to the gas station and then started back home.  The sound got worse and the steering wheel started moving on its own.  I slowed down to turn around and go back to the "shop" to have them check it out when my passenger side front tire flew off and across the sidewalk.  Luckily, we were going less than 15 mph, but had we been going any faster, it could have been bad.  Our seat belts and my children's car seats kept us from being thrown forward and to the right when the tire flew off.

Car Seat Safety Tips & Guidelines

• Never ever EVER alter your child safety seat in any way.  This includes but is not limited to:

1. Handmade or store bought custom car seat covers.  Sure they're cute, but they aren't safe.  Some manufacturers make different covers specifically for their car seats.  This is fine because it's made by the manufacturer FOR that particular car seat.
2. Head positioners.  If your car seat comes with a head positioner it's fine to use it.  You can also remove these as the car seat will have been tested with and without the positioner.  However, if your car seat didn't come with one, DO NOT add one.
3. Towels under harness straps.  I honestly wasn't aware of this one, but apparently it's among the bad advice given to parents.  Do not put ANYTHING between your child and the straps.
4. Some manufacturers consider toy bars to be dangerous and use of them will void your warranty.
 

• Make sure your car seats safety straps are adjusted properly for your child.  The rule (at least the one I have heard most often) is, if you're rear facing, the straps should be at the slot at or just underneath your child's shoulders and come up and over your child's shoulders.  If you're forward facing the straps should be at or just above your child's shoulders.

• Never use puffy jackets or snowsuits with car seats.  The rule is- if you have to adjust the straps to allow for the extra thickness of the jacket or snowsuit, it's dangerous.  Try a thinner but warmer jacket or just put your child in warm clothing, strap them in, put a blanket over their body, and bring the jackets and snowsuits with (for going between the car and your destination and/or emergencies in cold weather).  I know this one is harder for us mommas in colder climates, but it's safer.  Your child can be thrown out of their jacket and their car seat.  I've heard stories of children being thrown from the car seat but their jacket still being under the straps.

• This is one I don't understand, but I'm putting it here anyway, because it says so in my manual, and lots of mommas online brought this one to my attention as well.  When driving, make sure the handle on an infant seat is down (and clicked down too, not just haphazardly pushed down- I get on my fiance's case all the time about this one). 

• There should only be one inch or less of wiggle room at the bottom of the car seat or car seat base.

• Find a car seat that works for your child AND your vehicle.  Some car seats don't work too well in some vehicles.  For example, my daughters convertible car seat works great in my car, but it tilts and moves too much in my fiance's car.  Some stores will let you test out car seats before you buy.  Most will let you return a seat if it doesn't work for your child or vehicle.

• At least 80% of the car seats base should be on the vehicle's seat.

• Rear facing car seats should be at angled at 45 degrees or less.  This is so baby's head stays in contact with the seat and their airways are kept open.

• Use the pinch test to make sure the harness straps are tight enough.  You shouldn't be able to pinch the straps at the shoulder.

• In a five point harness seat, the clip should be at chest level, in between your child's armpits.

• Use either the cars latch system OR the seat belt to secure the car seat.  Do not use both.

• Car seats generally expire after six years.  Some expire after ten years, however.  Please make sure by checking the expiration date of your car seat.  A lot of seats will have the expiration date stamped on the bottom.

• Never buy or borrow a used car seat unless you are absolutely 100% sure of it's history.  People selling things online or in a garage sale want to make money and probably wont be completely honest with you about when they bought it or if it's ever been in an accident.

• Once your car seat has been in an accident, it's time to replace it.

• Check your car seat frequently for signs of wear or damage.

• Only add toys to a toybar that you would be comfortable having hit your child in the head or face.  Don't use hard toys.  Toys can injure your child in a crash.

• Learn to lock your seat belts to keep the car seat installed tightly.  

• Make sure you check the manufacturers instructions for cleaning your car seat.  Bleach and rough washing can damage straps, buckles, and other parts, and you want those parts working properly if you're in a crash.

• Frighteningly enough, some car seat experts have seen people using duct tape and bungee cords to repair car seats or replace parts of car seats.  I swear to God if any of you ever do this, or if I see anyone do this, I will literally explode and then haunt you for the rest of my life.

• Don't ignore the height and weight restrictions on your car seat.  If your child is too heavy, the straps can pull through.  If they're too tall, their heads wont be protected in a crash.

• If your child is tall, their legs bending or touching the back of the vehicles seat is NOT an excuse to switch to forward facing.  That being said, I do know a woman whose 10 month old daughter literally has to sit almost completely cross legged when rear facing.  I honestly can't find any information on what to do in that situation.  However, I'm fairly certain that this situation is extremely rare.

• Don't put car seats on grocery carts unless the cart has a system specifically meant to secure a car seat (apparently these exist, I've never seen any though).  Children have died when their parents hit a bump with the cart and the car seat falls off.

• Remember that anything loose in the car can be a potential hazard.  Got a case of soda on the seat?  Got an ice scraper in the back?  In a crash, anything can fly anywhere, so it's best to put these things in the trunk or rear of an SUV/MiniVan.

• An old and outdated rule is that you should be able to fit two fingers between your child and the seat belt or harness straps.  This is NOT true.  The belt and/or straps need to be tighter than that.  Use the pinch test to determine if the straps are tight enough.

• If you use your vehicles latch system, read your vehicles manual to make sure you know the weight limits and guidelines for using this system!  Different vehicles have different guidelines so make sure you know the guidelines for YOUR vehicle.

• The safest place for a car seat is in the middle of the back seat.  However, it's more important that the car seat be properly installed.  If the seat can be more safely installed on a "window seat" then put it there.  And obviously if you have more than one child, you can't do this.  I have two children and always put the youngest in the middle.

• Always wear your own seat belt to be a good example for your children.

• I asked for input on Facebook and one lovely woman said:  RYDM!  (read your damn manual)  I really like this, so I will repeat her advice, RYDM!

The most important thing I can add to this list is:  If you're confused or unsure, find a car seat tech and have the seat properly installed and have them show you how to install it correctly!

Remember that contrary to popular belief, most police officers and firefighters are NOT trained in car seat safety.  Always have your seat installation checked out by a certified car seat technician.

CrunchyMom's Guide to Car Seat Safety [Part One]

Car seat safety is a big deal among crunchy parents.  Everyone is talking about car seat safety, and jumping down other mother's throats when it comes to this issue.  For those of you who feel overwhelmed with all the car seat nazi talk going around, I've constructed this article which includes all the car seat safety tips and laws that I can find.

Car Seat Laws & Guidelines

• All children should be in an appropriate car seat or booster seat until they are 4 feet 9 inches tall and 80-100 pounds.  Most children will reach these limits between 8-12 years of age.

• Children 12 years of age and under must remain in the back seat of the car at all times.

• Infant style car seats are best for small infants and are usually usable from 4-5 pounds (birth-weight) until 20-22 pounds.  Different manufacturers have different guidelines, so please use this only as a general idea and CHECK YOUR CAR SEAT MANUAL for actual guidelines.  

• Convertible car seats are generally considered the safest option.  They usually can be used rear facing from birth to 20-22 pounds and forward facing from 20 pounds to 40-65 pounds depending on the model.  Try to get a seat with the highest rear and forward facing limits that you can both find and afford.

• Federal law says that children must remain rear facing until age one AND 20 pounds as a minimum.  New rear facing guidelines recommend rear facing your child until two years of age.  Because of these new recommendations, some convertible seats are now able to be used in a rear facing position until much higher weights.  Check your model for manufacturers guidelines and limits regarding weight/height recommendations.

• The guidelines for booster seats are usually age four, and 40 pounds or more.  However, if your child can still ride safely in his/her convertible seat, that is the best option.  From car-safety.org : "If a child's shoulders are above the level of the top slots in their regular car seat, or the tops of their ears are above the top of the shell, then they may be able to move to a booster or another forward-facing seat which accommodates taller children.  Usually a child can be moved to a booster when they are too big for a harnessed car seat, and once they are able to sit properly in a seat belt."

• When your child is using a booster seat, the seat belt must be used properly.  Do not put the shoulder belt under their arm or behind their back.  Also, make sure the lap belt rests across their hips, not the soft part of their stomach.  You must use both the lap belt and the shoulder belt with a booster seat.

• Owners of pickup trucks that don't have an extended cab or in which the extended cab is too small or incompatible with a child safety seat can legally have their child's car seat in the front seat of the truck.  However, the passenger air bag must be turned OFF when there are children riding in the front of the truck. 

• Your child is ready to use a seat belt without a booster seat when they can pass the Safety Belt Fit Test.

The Safety Belt Fit Test [from safekids.org]

• Have your child sit in a back seat with their bottom and back against the vehicle’s seat back.  Do the child’s knees bend at the seat’s edge?  If yes, go on. If not, the child must stay in a booster seat.
• Buckle the seat belt.  Does the lap belt stay low on the hips?  If yes, go on.  If it rests on the soft part of the stomach, the child must stay in a booster seat.
• Look at the shoulder belt. Does it lay on the collarbone and shoulder? If yes, go on. If it is on the face or neck, the child must remain in a booster seat.
  
  
  • Never put the shoulder belt under the child’s arm or behind the child’s back. Do not allow children to play with the shoulder portion of a seat belt. Treat it like any cord.
• Can the child maintain the correct seating position with the shoulder belt on the shoulder and the lap belt low across the hips? If yes, the child has passed the Safety Belt Fit Test. If no, the child should return to a booster seat and re-test in a month.  

Don't forget to read Part Two of my car seat safety series!

Do Realistic Attachment Parents Exist? (or are they all birth, car seat, and breastfeeding nazis?)

After a lot of thought and a lot of debating, I've decided that I need to change the focus of this blog.  I've spent so much of my life not being myself, not being true to myself, at all, and it needs to stop.  I need at least one aspect of my life (other than with my kids, they always love me for me) where I can be ME and this is it. 

For the past week or so, my heart hasn't been into writing.  I feel as if I am merely going through the motions, recycling the same old thing that's on every attachment parenting, natural parenting, or green mom blog.  I sat down and thought about what makes me unique.  And, as I was writing a blog post (coming soon, I promise) about car seat safety, I realized...

I may be an attachment focused parent.  I may breastfeed, cloth diaper, use cloth wipes (and occasionally "the family cloth"), eat vegetarian, babywear, cosleep, and never ever ever spank my kids.  I may even have a son who is lucky because I left him intact.

But I am not fanatical.   

• I'm not ridiculously overprotective (even when I want to be).
• I take long baths, even though I know it's not great, I reduce my carbon footprint in other ways, like not eating meat (which is something that even some of the most hardcore green, natural living people can't seem to give up).
• I did not have a medication free homebirth.  I not only had a C Section, but it was PLANNED and I demanded it.  That was my way of owning my own birth. I will do it again (and probably again after that).  The only thing that I dislike about this method of birthing is that I can only have four children.  Otherwise, it's my ideal method of delivering babies.
• I don't always eat organic. Mostly because I can't afford to.
• I didn't keep my daughter in a rear facing car seat until the age of 13 (in fact I was counting down the days until I could turn her around).
• Even though I believe that "breast is best", I have no urge to gang up on women who chose to formula feed.  It's their choice.  I may not think it's the right choice, but it's not my choice to make.  I fed my daughter formula because she had major reflux which was affected by breastmilk, as well as some other formulas.  We give Parker one or two bottles of formula a day, not only so that his dad can enjoy feeding him, but so I can have a break once in a while.  We love our breastfeeding relationship, and I refuse to give it up (especially the night feedings), but once in a while it's nice to be able to hand him to Nate and go read a book in the teatub (bath in our family).
• I don't wear my baby in the house constantly.  I wear him a lot.  I was babywearing when babywearing was only cool on the east coast.  Back when your only choice was Baby Bjorn and they were ridiculously expensive.  But I don't wear him all over the house.  I really do want to wear him more at home, but sometimes it's just not practical.  Like this one time... when I was doing laundry...  let's just say he wasn't a fan of being squished between his short mommy and the washer.
• While I generally follow safe cosleeping practices, I don't have just a mattress, with no boxspring, on the floor.  I did that when I was poor and pregnant with my daughter and couldn't afford a mattress, I'm not about to go back to it.  I've gone through the trouble of making sure there are no spaces between the mattress and the wall that baby can fall into so I think that's adequate. 
• I don't think television is evil.  I think it can be bad when children watch TV and play video games and never go outside or move around and exercise.  But it scares me that some moms talk about secondhand TV watching.  Really?  TV is not like cigarette smoke.  It can't "come and get" your child.  Having a TV on in the background in the room where your child is wont turn your child into a big, dumb, fat, blob of stupid.  I promise.  My daughter has had plenty of exposure to TV and she's ridiculously gifted, always outside playing and running around, and she's actually underweight (her dad has can't-gain-weight genes.  Yes, I do hate him because of it.)  It's how you utilize the television and how often that matters.
• Similarly, I let my four year old watch the X Files.  She likes it, it doesn't desensitize her, and even though she gets scared, it's scary in a fun way for her.  Just because you like scary stuff doesn't mean you're desensitized and are going to become a serial killer.  There are some things I wont allow her to watch, but I'm not crazy protective about it.  Eventually she'll get to the age where she'll find a way to watch it anyway and that age really isn't that far off.
• I don't believe mothers need to be slaves to their children in order to practice attachment parenting.  Some moms let themselves be guilted into servitude in an effort to attach.  My children and I are ridiculously attached.  I've lost a lot of friends because of my desire to spend most of my time with my children.  However, I also carve out some time for myself every day.  I was a person before I had children and I will be a person after they move out.  Some of you may be confused and I hate to break the bad news- your children will someday move out of your home- and if they don't you probably did something wrong. (Of course there are always special circumstances...)  
• On a similar note,  I absolutely HATE mothers who ONLY talk about their children.  I call them Zombie Moms.  Don't get me wrong, I talk about my children probably 90% of the time, but that other 10% I'm talking about my hobbies and interests and dreams and goals.  Some of which do NOT involve my children.  I believe that if the only aspect of your personality is the fact that you're a mom, you need to get a hobby.  I'm not saying you shouldn't talk about your kids, because I do that way more than I should myself, I'm simply saying that it's a problem if you can't find anything else to talk about.  If all you are is a mom, then your husband might start looking elsewhere for stimulating conversation.  You need to be that sexy, unforgettable, incredible, brilliant woman he fell in love with once in a while. (I've chosen Wednesdays for these occasions.  After Criminal Minds is over of course.)
• Lastly, I hate it when parents are ridiculously out of touch.  Do they really not remember being that age?  I remember being every age (except, obviously, younger than 2) and I think it helps to look back to how you felt about certain things when you were that age.  Granted, some times you were wrong, but sometimes your parents were too.  This tends to repeat itself.

I'm sure there are many more examples I could give you, but I'll stop rambling and summarize the whole point of this post.

I'm sick of trying to fit into a circle when I am entirely square.  I definitely am a crazy, crunchy, attachment parenting, trying-to-be-more-green mom.  But I refuse to give up, not only who I am, but also, good old fashioned common sense, in order to fit in to a niche.

So I will share thoughts on attachment parenting and crunchiness from my own perspective, even though it might be a little less breastfeeding-cloth diapering-car seat-birth nazi than some other blogs.

If we want other women to listen to us, and to adopt some of these ideas, and to spread the word about our causes, we need to be less in-your-face and more realistic.  Not every woman can afford an extended height and/or weight five point harness car seat.   Some women are simply not able to breastfeed.  Not everyone cherishes the idea of sleeping on the floor.  There are women who really DO NOT want to forgo medication during childbirth and who feel safer giving birth with a doctor present. 

There are varying degrees of crunchiness, and I absolutely abhor the idea of shoving my ideas and beliefs down other peoples throats.  With things I'm really passionate about, like not circumcising or vegetarianism, I try to bring the good points out first, and then hit the negatives.  No one likes to be yelled at and told they're a bad mother.  When we attack women for doing things differently (using a car seat slightly wrong, formula feeding, circumcising, or getting an epidural) we only make ourselves look fanatical and crazy (like Tom Cruise talking about psychiatry).  It's not going to make others listen to us, it's going to make others shut us out.  If we really want to get our message out, we need to stop demanding that our way is best, like a bitchy little clique, and instead show them that our way is open to all and adaptable.

"This above all, To Thine Own Self Be True."

- Polonius (Hamlet - Act 1 - Scene 3 - Line 78)

I am very much open to comments and criticisms in my comments.  I am all about the debate, so if you so desire, feel free to bring it on.  Those who agree with me, I would love to hear from you as well.

Santa Claus is coming to town... via email.

Santa has an email address. 

I know this because I made it for him.

Last year, due to overenthusiastic eggnog consumption by the elves in the Wii making department, Santa had to write Aria an I.O.U. (until tax return time... not sure why) for the gaming console she so desperately wanted.  He emailed it to us.

Why did he email us? Because yours truly overslept Christmas morning.  That is also why Santa left all the presents in momma's room. 

My major parenting fail last Christmas had two good outcomes.
 
1.  I have definitely stepped up my holiday mythical archetype game.  The Easter Bunny managed to deliver the goods while we were in the basement (for a period of about five minutes) looking at something or another.  Now Aria refers to the Bunny as "totally, really a ninja!"

2.  Santa has come into the technology age with email capabilities.

With a quick flick of my carpal tunnely wrists, kriskringlex@gmail.com was born.  (Santa likes his online presence on the emo side.)  My daughter is very excited to email Santa her wishlist this year.  I am excited to not only have her wishlist in actual list form, but also to be able to look back on her wishlists a few years from now when the big jolly guy has lost his magic.

Thankfully I have another child to lie to for several years. :)

An (Unwanted) Break From Cloth Diapers (why I'll never go back to disposables)

Disposable diapers smell like pee.

All.   The.  Time.

I never really noticed until today.  All of our cloth was in the wash (due to the Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment) so we pulled out the 'sposies.  So gross.  We've been using cloth for a while now and we've gotten used to super absorbent, pee-smell-free diapers.

I also didn't realize how much we have cut down on actual diaper changes since switching to cloth.  Parker goes for 2-3 hours or so in a cloth diaper.  In a disposable he lasts about an hour before the pee smell sets in and he needs to be changed.

Needless to say, I will not be trading in my Subaby and Bum Genius diapers for Pampers or Huggies any time soon.

I prefer my son to smell like baby, not like pee.

Download Drama (aka my daughter charged $40 worth of fishbucks to our phone bill on the Android Market to play TapFish)

Do you have a fish tank on your Android phone? A farm on Facebook? Have you become a little addicted to Angry Birds?

I'm sure there are a lot of you raising your hands or hiding behind your computer screens right now.  Apps are fun and best of all, most of them are free.  Of course they have the option to buy extra credits or coins or fishbucks, but they really aren't necessary to play.
Would someone please tell that to my four year old?

Miss Aria was playing TapFish on my beautiful Android phone (I love this phone almost as much as I love my cats), when she decided she wanted to buy a mermaid.  We didn't have enough FishBucks to buy the mermaid so she so thoughtfully got us some more. 

Forty dollars worth to be exact. Charged to our phone bill.

Yipee!

At least I got the mermaid though.

The Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment & Giveaway! {Part Two}

In my last post I told you about how the beautiful and generous people at All Things Diapers gave me three different types of cloth diaper safe laundry detergent to conduct an intense experiment.

The goal:  rid my diapers of stink.

The contenders:

Rockin' Green Classic Rock, Thirsties Super Wash, Charlie's Soap

I rated the three detergents on several preliminary tests before I began the actual experiment.  The initial tests were: Packaging (aesthetics), Packaging (ease of use), Looks (the detergent itself), Smells, Ingredients (how many of the ingredients are listed), and Ingredients (what the ingredients actually are).

And without further delay...

Rockin' Green Classic Rock

Packaging (aesthetics) :: 5 points.  

Let's face it, it's a super shiny package and it's got great marketing.  

Packaging (ease of use) :: 3 points.

The zipper bag is cute but hard to close when the detergent gets in the zipper and it didn't come with a scoop.  Luckily, I purchased a pretty little hot pink scoop that has magnets inside to stick to your washing machine (everything gets lost with a four year old in the house) from All Things Diapers.

Looks ::  4 points

The detergent looks like fluffy white snow so it's definitely pretty but it also doesn't scream "cleans your clothes" to me when I look at it.

Smells :: 4 points

I chose the Smashing Watermelons scent for my own use, which smells amazing, but, since the other two detergents are unscented, I felt it wouldn't be fair to rate them against a scented detergent.  So I used a sample packet of Rockin' Green Bare Naked Babies (unscented) for this test.  It smells a little like soap, but not really chemically.

Ingredients (listed) :: 5 points.

This detergent lists ALL of its ingredients, which isn't very common.

Ingredients (actual) :: 5 points.

:: sodium carbonate , sodium percarbonate, natural chelating agents, sodium sulfate, bio-degradable surfactants, fragrance oils (if scented is chosen)::

The Annoying Zipper Bag.

Looks like pure clean snow.

The cutest hot pink magnetic laundry scoop ever!

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Charlie's Soap

Packaging (aesthetics) :: 4 points.  

It's plainer than the other two and looks like it would be marketed more towards men than women.  It doesn't look like something I would look at and think, "Hey, this would be great for my baby's diapers."  But it still has a pleasing look in it's own way.  

Packaging (ease of use) :: 4 points.

It has an easy screw off lid and a little green scoop that is just the right size.  It could be spilled easily though so I took off one little point.

Looks ::  5 points

It definitely looks like it would clean anything pretty well.  It has that polished look.  It's hard to explain what I mean, but you'd get it once you look at it.  By looks alone, I feel the most confident in this one to actually clean my diapers.

Smells :: 2 points

It smells like Windex, which honestly freaks me out a bit.

Ingredients (listed) :: 3 points.

It has some of the ingredients listed, but not all.

Ingredients (actual) :: 2 points.

Some of them seem natural, but I've heard too many things about the non listed ingredients to feel comfortable giving this a higher score.

Perfect Sized Green Scoop.

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Thirsties Super Wash

Packaging (aesthetics) :: 5 points.  

It's liquid in a clear bottle with a pretty little spring time themed label.  The colors and flowers and grass on the label definitely say, "Diapers & Baby Butts".

Packaging (ease of use) :: 5 points.

It has a measuring cup built in.  You take the cap off the measuring cup side and squeeze it to fill it to the right level.  I tried every possible thing I could think of to get this to spill more than the right amount and I couldn't.  It's actually a really good system.  And no scoops or cups to lose.

Looks ::  3 points

It looks like water.  That doesn't instill confidence in me.

Smells :: 4 points

It smells like water with a tiny bit of soap in it.

Ingredients (listed) :: .5 points.

Yes, that's point five points.  There are no ingredients listed on the label AT ALL.  I only gave the half a point because some of them are listed on the website.

Ingredients (actual) :: 3 points.

Most of the ingredients are natural and sound wonderful, but they aren't all listed so I can't be 100% sure.

The best measuring system EVER!

Tomorrow, I will post the results of the first and second washes.

Don't forget to read the first in this series The Great Diaper Stink Experiment {Part One} to enter the giveaway!  One lucky reader will win a package of the winning detergent, courtesy of All Things Diapers.

The Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment

Part One

Part Three

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The Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment & Detergent Giveaway! {Part One}

I love to research things (anything really) and my adventure into cloth diapering has been no different.  I looked into cloth diaper safe laundry detergent, reading reviews and charts and recommendations until I dreamt of laundry detergent dancing like faries around my head.

I started with the, not prefered but fairly well rated, All Small & Mighty Free & Clear.  I thought it was too good to be true to find a detergent that was less than $5 and sold at pretty much any store.  It was.  It did an ok job of cleaning fairly clean clothes and baby blankets, but not such a good job getting the stink out of my baby, Parker's, diapers.

Not so Mighty afterall!

And so, after a few rounds with All, the inevitable has happened.

I've got stink. 

The as-soon-as-any-liquids-touch-the-liner-the-diaper-and-baby-stink-like-an-ammonia-poop-smoothie kind of stink. 

Martin at AllThingsDiapers was wonderful enough to donate one package of each of the three laundry detergents he sells at his store, which is both a brick & mortor and online store.  All Things Diapers also runs a diaper service that was rated best diaper service by Minnesota Monthly.  They have layaway, a rewards program, and a crazy huge selection of diapers, diaper accessories, baby carriers, beautiful baby wraps, laundry detergents, wet bags, diaper pails... I could go on and on.  One look at the website and I was busy making a wishlist a mile long! 

And then I went to the store.

Heaven!  That is the only way to describe All Things Diapers.  They have a truly great selection of carriers and wraps, with demos so you can try them out for yourself.  Parker was super happy being worn in the beautiful blue and green Wrapsody Bali Breeze, and Liz, an incredibly sweet and helpful employee, showed me a new carry.

And then I learned about all the classes, workshops, and get togethers they host.  They do in store demos and really help their customers make the right choices for each individual.  They also have a lending library, which I, the bookworm, HAD to try out. 

Overall, All Things Diapers is a beautifully designed store (complete with private changing and nursing areas and a rocking chair in the middle of the store so you can check out their offerings and calm your baby at the same time) with a great inventory and kind and super helpful employees.  Their excellent customer service and wonderful donation will go a long way in making sure this experiment is successful.


So, on to business...




The Great Diaper Stink Experiment will go as follows:




. I will divide my diapers and liners into three groups.


. I will use one of each of the three brands of detergent on one specific group for a period of two months.


. I will make note of the different aspects of each detergent and rate them on each aspect accordingly.


. I will also make note of which group smells freshest after each wash cycle.


. I will report frequently on the data I have gathered from the experiment.


. At the end of the first month I will declare a favorite and one lucky reader will win a package of that detergent.


. I will do a follow up a month after that to conclude the experiment.

The brands I will be testing are...

Rockin' Green Classic Rock, Thirsties Super Wash, and Charlie's Soap.

Stay tuned for more exciting adventures in (hopefully soon-to-be-gone) stink!  Don't forget to follow this blog (by email, rss, or through google connect) and like  All Things Diapers on Facebook and comment below to be entered for a chance to win a package of the winning detergent!  

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The Great Cloth Diaper Stink Experiment

Part Two

Part Three

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Attachment Parents & Helicopter Parents: Not Necessarily One In The Same

I love attachment parenting.  I love cuddling with my four year old when she's having a bad day.  I love sleeping next to my 8 week old at night.  I'm terrified of SIDS.  I'm also terrified something bad will happen to my kids, even if it's just a scraped knee. 

But I'm not so terrified that I don't let them out of my sight.

A not-so-new and not-so-fun trend in parenting is Helicopter Parenting.  Imagine a parent hovering over their child constantly, even into the college years, taking care of every problem the child ever has.  That is helicopter parenting.  And it's something I am against entirely, possibly more than I am against letting babies "cry it out".

At least with cry it out (which I desperately hate) parents are giving their children breathing room.  The helicopters don't.  It starts with never leaving baby alone, even for a second, because they might roll off the blanket on the floor onto the actual floor, pick up a stray piece of dirt or cat hair, put it in their mouth, possibly even swallow it, get incredibly sick, and/or die.  It ends with parents sitting in on post-college job interviews with their kids and then calling the company to yell at them for not hiring sweet little Johnnykins.  After all, mommy was there during the interview and saw how wonderfully Johnnykinsybabywabysweetiepie did answering those questions (after turning to mom to figure out how to answer first of course). 

These things really happen.  There are parents that end up at job interviews with their 22 year old "kids".  And it starts out of fear.  I'm no stranger to fear.  I have severe (albeit treated) OCD.  I'm terrified that my kids will die if I don't use exactly 9 squares of toilet paper.  I feel the most comfortable when my children sleep in my bed with me so I know that if anything happens I will be right next to them.  But I know that a lot of my fears are irrational. 

As Lenore Skenazy of Free Range Kids often points out, crime is actually DOWN since most parents were kids (I'm a bit younger than a lot of parents so I'm not sure if those statistics fit me).  And it's common knowledge that most child abductions and child sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone the child KNOWS.  Yet we live in a world of fear.  Parents accompany their kids outside to play and stay within two feet of them at all times in their own back yards.  Parents drive their kids to school so that they aren't subjected to peer pressure, bullying, or the male driver (because all men are child molesters) on the bus.  Parents don't let their children play with their friends across the street because obviously a 10 year old has no concept of how dangerous cars are and will dart right out into traffic if mommy or daddy isn't paying constant, vigilant, attention.

How does this relate to crunchy, attachment parenting parents?  When you think about attachment parenting and some of the crunchier practices that often go right along with it, it's a fairly easy gateway to helicopter parenting.  Making sure children aren't exposed to toxins, breastfeeding to prevent illness, babywearing, and co sleeping can all lead to overprotective parenting.  You keep your children so close as babies and toddlers it's hard to stop when they get older. 

The reason children are born, grow, and get older is to eventually turn into adults.  The reason we (well I hope this is the reason) choose attachment parenting is to develop a good relationship with our children, to make sure they feel secure and safe, and so that they (hopefully) grow into well adjusted, productive, happy adults.  While being close to your children is important in their upbringing, so is letting them have freedom to make mistakes.  Mistakes are a big part of how we, as humans, learn and grow.  The great part about attachment parenting is that, because of the good relationship you worked so hard to have with your children, they will come to you when they make those mistakes and get themselves in over their heads.  But they need to be free to make those mistakes first.

Even in my constant OCD fueled fear, I know that my children are people, not possessions to be protected and locked away like a precious piece of jewelry in a museum.  While they are precious and infinitely valuable to me, they are still people.  We, as parents, and especially as attachment parents, need to know where to draw the line at our attachment.  The umbilical cord gets cut for a reason. 

My oldest child is a beautiful, creative, brilliant, and very adventurous four year old girl named Aria.  Aria is very much the poster child for attachment parenting.  We used the methods of attachment parenting with her, not because it was a trendy thing to do (in fact, we didn't know attachment parenting existed until she was about three), but because those particular methods worked for us.  In the midst of a very ugly battle with post partum depression, co sleeping and babywearing made me feel close to my baby and thus made me feel better.  For the longest time I couldn't stand to sleep without her at night or be separated from her at work. 

However, as most children inevitably do, she began to grow up.  We moved into an amazing neighborhood full of children of all ages, and she, of course, wanted to play with them.  The fully fenced in back yard that we were so excited about having, so she could play safely without us constantly watching over her, lay dormant (until Plankton the Jackabee and a pumpkin garden entered our lives, but that's another post) while she played with the neighbor kids in the front yard, near the (gasp) street.  She soon made friends with the kids across the street, so, with a little street crossing education, she began to play in their yards as well. 

Now my (not so little) baby girl wakes up in the morning, and instead of waking us up, she gets herself dressed (she has a great sense of style too), let's the dog out, grabs a snack, let's the dog back in, and goes on her little way, outside and across the street to play with her friends. 

She's four years old.

If my four year old can handle this huge chunk of independence, I'm fairly certain 22 year old Johnnykins can make it through a job interview alone.  The difference between an independent child like mine and an extremely dependent adult-child like Johnykins comes down to one thing.  It's not personality (Aria is painfully shy at times), and it's not intelligence (although she does have that- from her momma of course).  It's simply the fact that I, as a parent, have allowed and encouraged my daughter to stake out her own independence, even when what I really wanted to do was hold her on my lap and watch Barney like we did in the old days, and poor little Johnnykins' mom, did not.